Thanks to Bollywood, for a very very long time I was under the impression that a happy ending was where two people, madly in love with each other go beyond all societal hurdles and boundaries to be together for the rest of their lives. Somehow, nothing else but the love mattered. Sure it did on the silver screen. Not in real life. So often, we tend to visualize such happy endings in our real relationships similar to reel ones, that everything else apart from that feels like a loss. When you have been in a relationship for years, you perpetually start breathing each other’s air too (the analogy might be a bit off but yeah it is kind of true), so much so that even a twitch of the eyebrow is enough to tell you what is going on in your partner’s head. You learn from the mistakes, you grow together in the small eccentricities and evolve with the love that you share. The way you started out might be way different than where you have landed today. There is so much at stake, that being together feels like a risk that is worth investing. I have seen so many couples who might not be perfect for each other and yet end up marrying and then there are others who might be best suited for each other but don’t end up together. For a lot of reasons.
As an individual, I have had the fortunes of being in a relationship. I call it my fortune since there is a lot that you take by the end of it. I think it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Like other couples, I have fought, abused and made up with my partner on numerous occasions and the moment post the fight always felt that we are meant to be together. There have been compromises, all for the betterment of the bond that we share cause any effort that makes us happy was worth it. As conventional humans, we have got so used to the notion of holding onto each other that letting go seems like a rarity. We always feel that love is about holding on to your partner and constantly communicating to them how special they are and to what limits you love them. But sometimes, letting go is also another way of loving your partner. You cannot always cling to them and expect them to breathe. Life will never go as per your way and every individual, more than anything else in this world deserves to live life on their own terms and conditions. Cause in the end, it is our battle and we need to survive, fight and win it on our own.
It might sound crazy to let go off someone with whom you have invested so many years of your time. There is a whole bag of memories, places and people to remind you of their existence time and again. Agreed. Also, letting go is perhaps the most difficult decision during the entire course of your relationship. Specially if it happens on peaceful terms. Many a times a couple is used to indulging in nasty fights and accusations that letting go during such times seems easy but later there is so much of grudge involved that it will not let you live peacefully. Arriving on a decision mutually sort of helps in the long run cause it ensures, if nothing else but the mutual respect for each other prevails over other issues that you might be facing in the relationship. And if two people have objectively assessed that at the moment, this is the best decision and works in the favour of both the individuals then it should be respected above emotional and other feelings which might seem to interfere with the decision.
So what happens next? Well, if you have stayed with someone for so many years, you must know this as a matter of fact that it is impossible to ignore them completely and that is also not the wisest thing to do. You must respect each other’s space while making sure that you are sensitive towards their feelings and emotions. It will take a while for their absence to sink in but sometimes this absence will make you respect them even more. This could very well be the beginning of a great friendship and if you deserve the love it will always come back to you, no matter what. And if it doesn’t, you have to move on wishing them all the luck they deserve. You will feel like going back to them when you come across pictures and reminisce certain moments but, you need to as of now respect the decision and move on. There will be times when you will need them and if you want to, you must not stop yourself from expressing your feelings. You need to be careful of not letting any negativity seep through you cause believe me, even if you get married to someone else tomorrow, this one person will still be there in your heart and you cannot by any means, feel ill towards them. It is hell lot difficult to achieve a state of normalcy but just the fact that you have spent some really beautiful moments with this person and the little hope that it might now work out cause you have tried everything else that you could, will help you sail to the shore. Nothing in this world should be stretched beyond its capacity. Relax and sit back. It will be back to original if it was meant to. This is also a happy ending. Life is a happy ending. It is how you see it.
On this note, I can’t help but say the famous Amrish Puri dialogue from DDLJ which you kind of can tell your partner during such times, “Ja Simran/ Raj jee le apni zindagi.”