Selfless

I told him to push me in whenever he arrived,

For we had to cuddle  & sleep close to each other,

Not by choice but by circumstance.

Not that we don’t love cuddling,

but we also retire into our space once we fall asleep.

Last night we couldn’t.

He tiptoed in the wee hours,

Saw me occupying his side of the bed.

Instead of pushing me in,

decided to sleep on the floor without a mattress.

I remember momentarily opening my eyes,

noticed him on the floor but let him be.

Finally, saw him sleeping on naked floor in the morning,

Pulled him close to me.

Cuddled & slept together for the next one hour.

I’m not sure if I can ever be like him;

thoughtful, caring & affectionate.

He’s my Jack.

Selfless love is him.

 

 

The city to be: Udaipur

From someone who hasn’t visited Udaipur even once all her life to being who has been to Udaipur almost thrice in the last five months, Udaipur has become one of the places where I can just be. For someone, who has the option of going to Goa due to its proximity to Bombay, Udaipur has definitely become one of the places where I can simply relax and lay back.
My first time was during New Year’s Eve when I wanted to escape the maddening chaos of Mumbai and enjoy the weather at its best. Contrary to what I imagined Udaipur wasn’t cold at all (it was almost 30 degrees) but it definitely was a pleasant experience.

I stayed at a hostel called Bunkyard which is perhaps the best hostel I’ve stayed so far. It had just opened in December and I was one of their initial guests. From being centrally located to extending the best service and hospitality, Bunkyard felt absolutely like home! Also my interaction with people from different countries over evening tea that Bunkyard organises everyday over sunset was something different and to look forward for.

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Sunset view of Udaipur from Bunkyard

Inside Bunkyard there’s this long curtain kind of hanging depicting flags of countries from where people have visited since the time it opened, which I thought was quite cool.


As far as places to visit are concerned, following places will be among my recommendations:
– City palace: it’s interesting to simply visit the huge palace for its grandeur and history.


– Bagore Ki Haveli: my best pick cause I enjoyed this puppet and dance show by cultural troupes of Rajasthan thoroughly and it takes place everyday between 7-8 PM and 8-9 pm. You have to go there in the evening between 5 pm- 6 pm to book tickets. Since, I wasn’t aware of this and went there only before the show, I managed to find a standing place in the end.

– Grasswood cafe: the best cafe I explored during my stay. The cafe is managed by an Indian couple who serve great brewed coffee and an amazing range of breakfast. And more than that the fact that the owner himself cooks everything fresh, the wait for the food is completely worth it. A must visit cafe.

– Jheel Ginger cafe: another interesting cafe in the lane next to Grasswood, Jheel Ginger cafe is located right next to the lake that makes it a place to spend some serene lone time by yourself. They also have pretty amazing coffee and some small bites. But if you wish to sit and read or spend good time with your loved one, this is the place to be. The view of the lake from Ginger cafe is gorgeous.


– Savage Garden: another interesting cafe run by an Italian expat is pretty looking and the food was good too. A lot of foreigners frequent this place and it has been one of the top rated cafes in Udaipur. I ordered for a mushroom Ravioli and it was yum as hell. Haven’t eaten such a good ravioli in ages. For a beautiful blue surrounding and some great Italian food, this is a must visit place.

 

-Ayurvedic massage: yes you read it right. Udaipur is full of lanes luring tourists for a relaxing Ayurvedic massage. I bargained for a reasonable price and had the best one hour of the time the masseuse had to offer.

Udaipur is a shoppers paradise. The place has lanes full of tiny shops selling stoles, sarees that have the famous Rajasthani Bandhej print on them, kurtas, salwar, bags made of camel leather. You have to be smart enough to bargain or else you might end up getting duped.

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If you are looking for a budget friendly travel, then my itinerary might come handy but if you are also looking at a lavish stay away from hustle bustle of the city for a relaxing getaway, you can check out Ramada hotel which is a little on the outskirts of the city (about 10 mins by road). It is a lovely, secluded property where you can have private time with your loved ones.

A place that I missed going during my three trips is Sajjangarh Fort (also known as Monsoon Palace) located on the top of a hill. It is a place one must visit to witness a beautiful sunset. There are these private vans that leave from the city palace everyday or if you are one of the adventurous kinds then you could hire a bike and trek all the way up.

Go,plan your Udaipur visit today. It is definitely worth a visit.

All images ©Kainat27

Tuesdays with Morrie

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I had heard quite a lot about this Mitch Albom novel since I was in college but somehow could never lay my hands on it. Finally, I managed to finish the book last weekend and I am so glad that I did. Some things just got a timing and this was mine with Professor Morrie as he is about to enter the other side of world and makes everyone a part of his death journey, in a good way ofcourse.

There is no plot or drama in the book whatsoever. It is an old man’s death journey as he suffers through the terrible ALS disease but he is determined not to lose his mind as his body is losing every bit of life that is left in it. One of his old students gets to know of this and decides to meet the professor. What results is a series of meetings between the professor and the student every Tuesday until the last, where they discuss a myriad of topics concerning the very existence of human life. From talking about love, family, career, relationships and death, Morrie shares the basic wisdom of life and it is so heart-touching that you feel ashamed of being in an oblivion all the while. A sick, old man has to remind a healthy young man about the magic of human life and relationships; how it is extremely simple to maintain relationships and uphold the love, no matter who you are and where you are.

I was crying like a kid while reading the book cause it made me emotional about the weakening condition of Morrie and I was feeling sorry for not having to express to my loved ones so often. It is simple, beautiful and the most eternal feeling that you can experience ever. This book will stay with me for a while and once you read it, I hope it will with you too.

Erase

She rubbed her eraser hard, 

trying to erase the lines.

But, the creases remained,

for it had been deeply inscribed. 

No matter how hard she tried,

the faint yet vivid memories,

were to haunt her forever. 

#erase

Happy Ending

Thanks to Bollywood, for a very very long time I was under the impression that a happy ending was where two people, madly in love with each other go beyond all societal hurdles and boundaries to be together for the rest of their lives. Somehow, nothing else but the love mattered. Sure it did on the silver screen. Not in real life. So often, we tend to visualize such happy endings in our real relationships similar to reel ones, that everything else apart from that feels like a loss. When you have been in a relationship for years, you perpetually start breathing each other’s air too (the analogy might be a bit off but yeah it is kind of true), so much so that even a twitch of the eyebrow is enough to tell you what is going on in your partner’s head. You learn from the mistakes, you grow together in the small eccentricities and evolve with the love that you share. The way you started out might be way different than where you have landed today. There is so much at stake, that being together feels like a risk that is worth investing. I have seen so many couples who might not be perfect for each other and yet end up marrying and then there are others who might be best suited for each other but don’t end up together. For a lot of reasons.

As an individual, I have had the fortunes of being in a relationship. I call it my fortune since there is a lot that you take by the end of it. I think it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Like other couples, I have fought, abused and made up with my partner on numerous occasions and the moment post the fight always felt that we are meant to be together. There have been compromises, all for the betterment of the bond that we share cause any effort that makes us happy was worth it. As conventional humans, we have got so used to the notion of holding onto each other that letting go seems like a rarity. We always feel that love is about holding on to your partner and constantly communicating to them how special they are and to what limits you love them. But sometimes, letting go is also another way of loving your partner. You cannot always cling to them and expect them to breathe. Life will never go as per your way and every individual, more than anything else in this world deserves to live life on their own terms and conditions. Cause in the end, it is our battle and we need to survive, fight and win it on our own.

It might sound crazy to let go off someone with whom you have invested so many years of your time. There is a whole bag of memories, places and people to remind you of their existence time and again. Agreed. Also, letting go is perhaps the most difficult decision during the entire course of your relationship. Specially if it happens on peaceful terms. Many a times a couple is used to indulging in nasty fights and accusations that letting go during such times seems easy but later there is so much of grudge involved that it will not let you live peacefully. Arriving on a decision mutually sort of helps in the long run cause it ensures, if nothing else but the mutual respect for each other prevails over other issues that you might be facing in the relationship. And if two people have objectively assessed that at the moment, this is the best decision and works in the favour of both the individuals then it should be respected above emotional and other feelings which might seem to interfere with the decision.

So what happens next? Well, if you have stayed with someone for so many years, you must know this as a matter of fact that it is impossible to ignore them completely and that is also not the wisest thing to do. You must respect each other’s space while making sure that you are sensitive towards their feelings and emotions. It will take a while for their absence to sink in but sometimes this absence will make you respect them even more. This could very well be the beginning of a great friendship and if you deserve the love it will always come back to you, no matter what. And if it doesn’t, you have to move on wishing them all the luck they deserve. You will feel like going back to them when you come across pictures and reminisce certain moments but, you need to as of now respect the decision and move on. There will be times when you will need them and if you want to, you must not stop yourself from expressing your feelings. You need to be careful of not letting any negativity seep through you cause believe me, even if you get married to someone else tomorrow, this one person will still be there in your heart and you cannot by any means, feel ill towards them. It is hell lot difficult to achieve a state of normalcy but just the fact that you have spent some really beautiful moments with this person and the little hope that it might now work out cause you have tried everything else that you could, will help you sail to the shore. Nothing in this world should be stretched beyond its capacity. Relax and sit back. It will be back to original if it was meant to. This is also a happy ending. Life is a happy ending. It is how you see it.

On this note, I can’t help but say the famous Amrish Puri dialogue from DDLJ which you kind of can tell your partner during such times, “Ja Simran/ Raj jee le apni zindagi.”

Memories

She sat by the sill sipping on her coffee,

Her body taut to her surrounding.

Flipping through the pages of memories,

She quietly smiled and reminisced;

thanking the Almighty for all the moments.

The moments defining her metamorphosis,

from a girl to a woman.

Chanced upon a dusty picture,

of a ride from her romancing days.

Quietly, sliding it beneath the covers,

she wondered if they’d make a perfect couple,

with all their incompetencies and imperfections.

Now with different partners,

fulfilling their societal responsibilities.

Deeply etched in her soul forever.

-Anonymous

Farewell

It was the summer of 2012. The streets leading to Medill University around Dunkin Street were busier than ever. Hawkers had lined up expecting more business than ever. The air was rather cooler than usual. Students were getting out of cars or taxis in long black robes lined with blue border. Some of them were adjusting their mortarboards in the rear view of the mirror, others their tassels so that it fell perfectly on the left. David was waiting for Jia for a long time now outside Mr. Phillips bakery, which was their routine hangout during the 2 years of college where both of them had been pursuing Masters in Psychology. David was 27 and Jia 35 but that hardly affected both of them. Finally, he could see her from a distance tottering in her Louis Vuitton kitten heels, managing her georgette black and red saree. The moment she approached David she planted a customary make-up kiss on David’s lips, clenched on his hands firmly and they started walking towards the university where their graduation ceremony awaited them.

The graduation ceremony was an extravaganza where the students and the professors treated the parting batch royally. There was mimicry, valedictory speeches, dance and every bit of entertainment. Amidst all this, David and Jia sneaked into one of their favorite isolated lecture rooms which was no more in use and today they were sure of zero intrusion. As soon as David latched the door behind them, Jia lept on him so tight that even air could not escape between them. David held her by the waist and pulled her close so as to entwine his tongue into hers and they engaged in a long passionate kiss. David started undressing Jia slowly and steadily while caressing her G spot right below her ear. While, Jia was lost in David’s magic his hands that were on her waistband eventually slipped inside her panties, which sent Jia in an erotic frenzy.

David lifted Jia in his arms and settled her on a table which was not big enough to accommodate both of them comfortably, but enough for two bodies to become one. David’s constant thrusts inside Jia made her moans echo in every corner of the room that even ‘The Final Countdown’ music track playing in the background seemed feeble. David came inside Jia like a tornado’s intensity and Jia could see all the tension, pent-up emotions finally release from his face as he collapsed inside her bosom. Jia held him close in a warm embrace, not wanting to let go off the moment and whispered ‘I love you’ in his ears. Tears trickled from the corner of their eyes as they enveloped closer than ever. After gathering their scattered clothes, David and Jia walked together silently till the exit of the college gate where David kissed Jia’s forehead and before she could say something, her phone rang with Arun on the other side. David knew he had to leave and so he did.

My Best Friend

A dedication to my best friend for life on this Friendship’s Day!mother-and-daughter

 

The one who first saw me naked,

With who there was no shame or consciousness whatsoever.

I walked my first step with her, towards her,

She guided me to my path.

Without uttering, she caught my expressions,

Sensing all that was amiss within.

Encouraging me to rise above my flaws,

Never let me wander into the haze.

Staying true to her promise,

Of being with me at every step that I climbed.

Lending a shoulder to cry on,

When pain and heartaches became unbearable.

Never expressed the slightest grim,

For the times I have not been by her side.

Getting the real woman out in me,

Unaffected by any insecurity whatsoever.

She witnessed all my embarrassing moments,

With same smile as the glorious ones.

Sharing me with the love of her life,

With equal affection and fondness,

She never let anyone in this world,

Point a finger at me.

Camouflaging my flaws,

She hid my weaknesses away from the world.

My best friend and worse critic in need,

She is the one who has seen me grow…

From a child to a girl to a woman.

She is my best friend.

She is my mother.

I love her like I have not loved anyone before and there will be no one beyond her.

 

 

Once

Once_(2006_film)poster So I saw this Irish musical film with two unnamed protagonists called Once directed by John Carney. It is an hour and a half film based in the streets of Dublin where the Guy (that’s what he is called throughout   the film)played by Glen Hansard is a musician playing guitar on the streets trying to make a living for himself and his old father. He also works at Hoover repair shop owned by his father. During one of his late night gigs on the street where he is playing his own composition, a young Czech girl (played by Marekta Irglova) is impressed by his music. She insists on knowing if he has written the music for his girlfriend and he denies having one. Upon insisting, he confesses that his girlfriend left him years back and now he has nothing to do with her. During this short conversation, the Czech girl learns that the guy happens to be a hoover repairer and requests him to fix her broken vacuum cleaner.

The next day she gets her vacuum cleaner to the guy where he is playing a famous composition to which   she quizzes him the reason for not playing his personal composition. He says that the crowd on the street     during the daytime is busy and occupied with their work and themselves and hence they find it easier to connect to popular songs than self compositions. The girl confesses that she is a musician too and takes him to a piano shop where the owner lets her play for free. They both start singing one of the guy’s compositions which he teaches her on the piano and they both play the lovely song from the movie ‘Falling Slowly’. I like the lyrics of this song although my personal favorite out of all the soothing compositions is If You Want Me. Later, the guy sort of offends the girl when he asks her to stay back at his apartment after fixing her broken hoover, although he makes up for the silly gesture immediately the following day.

This is followed by a buzzing chemistry between the lead couple where the guy starts to motivate the girl and asks her to record one of his compositions along with him (that’s how the song If You Want Me shapes) and you cannot help but admire the lovely couple on screen. It is a plot where two heart broken souls come in contact with each other through the most powerful emotion evoking medium, that is music and help each other grow and open up like never before. He is heartbroken because his girlfriend cheated over him and she is living a clueless life away from her husband who probably has disowned her along with a toddler to take care of.

During one of their trips to the woods, the guy asks her if she still loves her husband she answers shyly in Czech saying ‘Miluju Tebe’ and refuses to translate the phrase in English (it basically means It is you I love). They decide to record a couple of songs before the guy plans to move to London to make a musical career and woo his girlfriend back. There are some amazing situational compositions that they record and the lyrics of the songs transport you in a different world altogether. Even you might start reminiscing about a loved one cause the songs sound real and simple to the ears as the singers have sung it from their hearts. Even during their private recording moments, as a viewer you secretly hope for some magic to happen so that the unsaid chemistry surfaces on screen.

It is not a happy ending that as an audience you would have expected cause the girl reunites with her husband and the guy gets on to make it big in London but before going he gifts her a piano so that she can continue pursuing her talent in which she excels. Before leaving, the guy calls her over to spend sometime and though she is aware of what would happen if they spend time together, she agrees to meet but later stands him up. The piano acts as a reminder that got them closer and served as a crucial element in their bonding. There is a happy yet aching feeling when the film ends because you are left wanting for more. The movie is emotionally gripping and you feel the pain, emotion and heart in every word and stanza of the lyrics as the lead couple sings it for you.

With the next film from the director Begin Again out in the theater, this film is a must watch for novices like me to get an idea of the filmography and style of direction that the director posses. It might not be the film to be looked at in terms of direction but the way John Carney has blended the story and the lyrics of the songs to present a marvelous musical is definitely worth a watch.